Thursday, September 07, 2006

We made The Stranger

Horatiosanzserif – well, Horationsanzserif – well, Horationsanzserif’s Lover – made Last Days, a column in the Sept. 7 issue of Seattle’s The Stranger:

A more legible version:

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30 The week continues with one of the more amazing Hot Tips Last Days has ever received, courtesy of Hot Tipper Horationsanzserif's Lover, who begins by explaining the lay of the land: "Near my house is an ongoing public-utilities project that often reroutes two-way traffic down a narrow side street. Around rush hour today, I noticed two cars—a newer SUV heading south and an older Oldsmobile heading north—in an apparent standoff, with neither letting the other pass. Actually, what I saw was the SUV driver—a Gordon Gecko type—shrieking every possible 'bitch'-related phrase at the driver of the Oldsmobile, a hippie guy who sat motionless in his vehicle. Soon, the SUV driver was joined in his torrent by an equally shrieky blond woman, who pulled up behind the hippie in the Olds, thus spurring the SUV guy to return to his vehicle and accelerate full-throttle into the Olds' front bumper. Here's where it gets AWESOME: The SUV driver then got out of his car to retrieve something from the back seat. A rifle? A tire iron? No—his INFANT SON, whom the man handed to the blond woman (did they know each other?) for a better view of Daddy's next act: jumping up and down on the Oldsmobile's hood, after which the man retrieved his son, backed up his SUV, and went home." Deep thanks to Hot Tipper HL for watching and writing, and congratulations to the hippie in the Olds for winning the standoff.

Grammar geeks: Note the misplaced clause beginning with “after which.” It's modifying “hood!” Snort!



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